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    Work/Life Juggle Complicated by Iraq War

    By VIC COX

    Cheryl Dent holds a picture of her Marine sergeant daughter, Theresa, and son-in-law, Daniel Mathis, and their child, Trinity.
    Most campus employees bear the stresses of trying to balance personal lives with the demands of their jobs. But few have had to perform the unusual juggling act thrust upon Cheryl Dent by the war in Iraq and separation of Dent's daughter and son-in-law from their infant child.
    U.S. Marine sergeants Theresa and Daniel Mathis were deployed to Kuwait last January. Now their separate units are in Iraq, and their infant daughter, Trinity, is thriving in Solvang under the care of Dent, a management services officer in the Office of the Chancellor. More accurately, Dent explained, a relay team of two aunts, a set of grandparents, and a neighbor is caring for 9-month-old Trinity.
    The team is necessary because Dent and her second husband, Dennis, work full time; between them they have four adult children from earlier marriages; and Theresa's younger sister, Melissa, and her toddler had started living with them shortly before they took in Trinity.
    "Blended families are not that unusual among UCSB employees, but this situation is definitely an extremely complex scenario," said Wendy Nishikawa, campus work/life coordinator. Day care arrangements suggest how complex life has become in the Dent household.
    Single mother Melissa commutes to Santa Barbara City College and works part-time for two hotels in the Santa Ynez Valley. She deals with the morning feeding and cleaning routines and takes the two little girls, who are being "raised like sisters," said Dent, to a neighbor for day care before she heads to school or work.
    Grandmother picks up the girls after work, prepares their meals, cleans and gets them ready for bed. Grandfather helps ride herd on the two, increasingly active tykes. "Grandpa just shakes his head, but he's having a good time, with girls everywhere," said Dent with a laugh.
    On weekends, while granddad supervises a major home remodeling, Dent said she tries to get the house back in order and clean. "While babies are under foot, I just move a little slower." When she can, Theresa's twin sister, Crystal, 24, drives up from Camarillo to visit her nieces.
    Nishikawa said it is important for primary caregivers in such situations to take time for themselves. "Do what nurtures you," she advised. "You're asking for disaster if your status quo is life on the brink."
    If things go smoothly in Iraq, Dent hopes to see her daughter in June when her tour of duty expires. But Trinity may celebrate her first birthday party without either parent present. Theresa told her mother that "leaving Trinity behind was the hardest thing she has ever done in her life, and that she misses her baby terribly," Dent added.
    "I am happy to step up, and actually honored Theresa would choose me to take care of her baby," said Dent. "My family is very important to me, and when the family unit comes together, it is important support for her."